Tuesday, June 29, 2010

6/2/10 Hermana Christensen

what do you even say at a moment like this?!

i just about started crying as i struggled for minutes trying to get onto my email as the clock ticked. i have 23 minutes. what the judd.

BUT FAMILY! QUERIDAS! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! i bring words of my existence from the mtc! i. am. ALIVE. and it's been a week! unreal. i don't even know what to say or where to begin.

first day first day--was there any emotion that wasn't felt? that goodbye was a little rough. my goodness. but you guys are so strong! (i'm having it beaten into me not to say "guys"; "THERE ARE NO GUYS HERE--ONLY ELDERS AND SISTERS." ha. they're strict on that rule.) anyway. okay okay ahhh so I met my companera, Sister Megan Lee--what a wonder! I knew her from Rhonda; I went with her a couple time to set pieces or assist conventions in Boise, and Hermana Lee was there! It took us forever to figure out how we knew each other. Anyyyway. She and the two other sisters in our district are going to the California San Diego mish as well. TM much?

This place is amazing. Talley once said it nicely: "It is a spiritual pressure cooker." My goodness, madre mia, si! At the end of that first day, my face hurt from smiling so much. I feel so blesssssssssed to be here, to be able to study the gospel ALL DAY LONG. It is unreal! it is so incredibly draining, but yet I am then unable to sleep at night. I wake up every morning at 6:26 (thanks for setting my alarma, j!), feeling tired, but there's just no time to feel tired. You get up and you get going and there's not a spare second to BREATHE let alone dream about your bed. So that's good--especially for me, someone who falls asleep anytime, anywhere.

So wow, what can I tell you? Okay. My district. They are unreal. There are four elders headed to Barthelona, four to Anaheim and then four sisters headed to San Diego. Spanish is beautiful. I'd like just share a little tm real fast. It's been five years since I've spoken Spanish. It's been so mezclado en mi cabeza because of the Deutsch, but I have seen MIRACLES as it has come back to me. Honestly, miracles. I kneel to pray and the words just flow. I made the goal my first day here to pray solo en espanol, and MADRE MIA--has it been increible. I feel such a love for the language. I understand it in such a way that I can't even explain it to people...does that make sense? Certain difficult concepts have already been made clear in my mind. I just feel so. so. so. BLESSED. so blessed. My teacher took my to test out of my class on Saturday; they offered to put me into advanced and have me out of here in a week, but we felt a little uneasy about that, so I'm most likely moving to the intermedio distrito. i'll still be here the same amount of time, but my comp, district, zona, everything will change. including my address. and my pday. so i'll keep you posted. :) seriously? I just feel so blessed.

Another tm--one of those sundays we went to mission prep in our homeward, taylor talked about feeling and knowing how the spirit spoke to him with such certainty. do you remember this? it made me want that soo bad. this spiritual pressure cooker is unreal. I've found that i feel the spirit like chills, but i know it's not chills because i'm not cold. it goes up and down my body and it is indescribably beautiful. i looooove being able to feel the spirit, to pray to feel the spirit, and to understand the spirit! i have a loooong way to go, but i'm glad i know. the warm bosom spoken of in dc 9 is only to oliver cowdery--not everyone feels the spirit that way. it's so important that we come to know how the spirit speaks to us!

my goodness ten minutes.

what else can i tell you? oh oh oh so much! just know that my heart and prayers are with you. especialmente con elder christensen, what a STUD. bro! you're going to make it through this! you will! we are all praying for you! last night, as i knelt on my prayer rug, i was so overcome with emotion... tears streamed down my face as I thought of bro struggling, padres struggling--wanting to aid in the struggle, ... all of us just struggling! life is such a struggle, but we are there for one another! and that is such a beautiful thing! i consider myself sooo blessed. thank you. wow. bro, you'll make it though. keep going. paciencia. ten fe!

i am struggling so much to write this! sorry i'm so scattered! eight minutes! hahaha.

let me just answer your questions: we wake up at 6:30, get ready by 7, get sack breakfasts, and normally go to class then. then it's one hour personal study, one hour comp study, one hour language study, 50 minutes gym, and 6-7 hours of spanish/gospel. the sched varies every day. everyday at 9 pm, we sit, pray, and plan for 25 minutes. if we dont' take 25 minutes we've done something wrong. we're to our residence by 930, and then i have one hour to.... a) shower, b) write in my journal, c) pray with my comp, d) read all my letters. so... as you can see, THERE IS NO TIME IN THE WORLD. ha! it has been a rough transition to have so little time to unwind/do what my heart needs to do, but i know it's for an inspired reason.

thank you ENDLESSLY for your love and support. i love you more than spanish or english words can say. i feel your love and prayers, and i hope you feel mine. i yearn to hear your words and know what you are doing. know that i am thinking of you, my loved ones, and that i am just so unbelievably grateful. this is sooooo hard, but somehow so right. it's funny how life works that way.

i love you all. so much. until next time, whenever that may be. siga fiel!

con amor,
hermana christensen